Unwritten Words

There are so many. The opening line to a blog post as I drive to, or from work. The ingenious title that appears, then evaporates as I attempt to get it down. The topic, the analogy, the connections -- and they are gone. Without my computer at the ready and my schedule equally willing to accomodate -- I lose my thoughts.

And with them, posts. The best I seem to be able to manage is a once-a-week blog post, indulging in show and tell. It's like my chocolate. But not even that worked out this week. "Ah well", I tell myself, "there's always next." And it is true, as the next Wednesday seems to arrive before I dare to believe another week has evaporated.

Another week, gone -- another fit of worry that only 2 weeks remain until the National Wave of Light ceremony, 6 until Bowling for Babies, and the Angel ornament drive.

Slow...go slow Cara...it will all get done. It will all be successful and affirming, everything you hope it will be.

As of today the Memory Bands are available for purchase. Our kick off fundraiser for the season. They say SHARE (our logo) Forever In Our Hearts.

They are a perfect token for yourself, your families and friends who want to remember and keep your babies close without always having to put it into words. They are moderately priced at $3 each or 4 / $10. Shipping is minimal. Please pass the word and the link.

Last week my pastor was out of town and asked me to fill in for him. I did - the main point of my message preserving self even as you give of yourself to others. The balance is tricky. And so I say again...We Give Because You Share!

Show and Tell - Selfless Giving

My Emma Grace - perfect and stunning in her quiet beauty.

This week's show and tell came in the mail. It brought me to my knees, moved me to tears in a way that only a gift of selflessness can.

A few weeks ago I was reading blogs, and Brenna's sketch-of-the-day caught my eye. Although I am creative I am not artistic. I don't grieve a non-skill, for I have plenty of my own. But it does heighten my appreciation for other's work. I left a comment to that end, noting that I had always wanted a sketch done of Emma. There is much more to that story - but I left it there, my sadness hanging, mine to deal with - to make choices around.

An e-mail popped in my inbox. "I'd love to try sketching Emma for you." I was stunned, moved to the core. Hoping this wasn't one of those really good dreams you wake from, I scanned the one picture we have of Emma, and a picture of her bunny - then, hoping I wasn't pushing my luck as this sweet woman was volunteering to do this...I asked her to make some modifications. You may recall I was never fully satisfied with the over-striped image that hung on my wall.

The package arrived Friday. I knew what it was, and yet – I didn’t. It represented an image of my daughter I had desired for years, simple, elegant - pure Emma. I ran my hand over the smooth surface, feeling the energy pump through my veins. Allowing the emotion to build, knowing an overwhelming outpour was my future. I embraced it, allowed it to build. Still stroking the glossy letters like an old lady pets her favorite cat. I sighed with contentment. Emma was in this long, flat, shiny box with PRIORITY MAIL tape running the full perimeter. I have waited for this for years.

And I have. And it is perfect. And she hangs peacefully in the space under her memory shelf that has remained intentionally empty for 8 years - waiting for the image of Emma that reflecs the meaning of her short life.

I'll close with the poingiant words of the amazing woman who created this, "She's such a beautiful girl. I feel as though I now know and love the contours of her sweet face."

Yes - and, now - so do I, thanks to you.