Stage Fright

I don't have it. Never have. I've been on stage in one capacity or another since I was five years old, my father speaking into the mic, "And this is my daughter Cara. Come on up here Cara...come on."

And yet, I always get a MAJOR case of the butterflies before I interpret. (hence my last post)

And then, I always feel great about my 'performance' if you will. Like I did the meaning of both consumer's words justice in a calm, flowing, way.

I always leave the job with a satisfied smile on my face and an affirmation in my heart: I am good at what I do.

The butterflies will come back. They always do. I suppose they keep me on my toes and feed that inner want-to-do-well drive that seems to be in overdrive.

Thanks for your support. It went well, obviously.

Off I Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder...

of an Episcopal church to interpret for the baptism of a sweet little baby!

Have you ever noticed that the Ca.th.olic based services say the same thing over and over and over, just with fancier and longer words????

YIKES!

Translation Secret: In ASL I'm just saying the same exact thing over and over and over.

The Deaf must think we are quite boring folk!

See you on the other side!!

Oh What a Day...Oh - Indeed

On the drive home exhilleration hit every nerve I possess, well - that and mental exhaustion in the form of a vibrant headache. Three hours of intense focus on translating information will do that. I must add 'mental jumping jacks' to my daily workout if this will eventually consume more than three hours of my day.

However, all in all - my initial evaluation of the experience was right on:

"Excited
Nervous
Curious
Sure this is the right path
Unsure that I am ready"

Except for that last one. I am ready. I really always was. I just have yet to make this choice, that's all.

First - I chose Deaf Education.
Then - I chose parenting.
Now - I choose to combine these skills so both are possible. Kids will still be dropped off to school. Clients will still be served. And yes, money will be earned. (*big sigh of relief*)

But first - there is a little business to attend to. The Deaf community is a really special place. You earn your ticket to the community through committment, trust, and attendance. I used to have a backstage pass. It was my second home.

After Emma died, my main focus became - first self, then Bear, then Comedian. For six years I have been here, at home, focusing on my family as the Deaf community went on. My students grew up, teachers left and new ones came, people divorced and got remarried. I have much to do now if I wish to be welcomed back into that community with smiles and wide signing arms.

I'm in the right place. Now is the right time. Even if its just one step at a time.

Oh - and my week-of-crazy-obsessed prep for the Memory walk starts tomorrow.

Oh - and came home to Emma's daffodills fully bloomed.

Oh - and the cap came off my tooth tonight

But I had a good day - a very good day indeed.

(Sorry Martha - no snazzy pic to prove it, not yet anyway)