My Meltdown - Part 5 - "The Call"

In the climax of a movie, where the protaganist is teetering on the edge of decision, getting ready to act -and - in most flicks...succeed; faith filled spirits, uplifting with a sense of serene hope prevail. They tie up the ending in a happily ever after aura, or at least a happily as far as you can imagine once the credits roll.


In real life - the teeter totters much more often.


I arrived home, filled with the recent faith filled epiphany, ready to embrace my husband; to say those words. I love you for respecting me. Thank you for your constant love. Thank you.


And then, I heard the message. I had to play it back four times to be sure I heard it correctly.


"Hello. This is ____ from the hospital finally returning your call. I showed your proposal to my superiors and we have decided not to be part of this."


My emotions began to spin, re-drilling the recently unearthed soil and burying themselves, once again, in frustration and a lack of comprehension. But - no - I forced myself to hear the rest, certain words and phrases burning my ears with bitterness.


"We are under financial constraints. We have to be careful about taking on new monetary projects...."


WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Literally screaming out loud I tried to make sense of where the communication breakdown happened.


I asked for THREE things - NONE of which required the hospital to make a "financial committment"! NONE!


1. Include our brochure, contact information and conset to contact in the "Loss Packet" they ALREADY give to parents!


2. Send out a letter to past loss families making them aware that there now exists a support system in our town. (I wrote the letter and SSV offered to pay the postage!)


3. Instead of giving a cheap W.lm.rt memory box that someone threw a little stain on...give these families a HOMEMADE HARDWOOK PERSONALIZED MEMORY BOX** that had been DONATED (read: free to the hospital) by Share Southern Vermont.


Of course, I was professional and calm as I called back and left the general gist of this, admittedly, angry and sarcastic post on the head nurse's answering machine.


And, after a little time had gone by - I realized - this mission is not that dissimilar than that to write a book and help others. Both goals require dedication, passion, and the ability to weather these roadblocks while knowing that, in the end, we will succeed.


I don't know what our happily as far as you can imagine looks like, but I know its coming. How do I know? Minutes after reeling at this irksome pothole of a phone message, the phone rang again. It was a bereaved father, holding our pamphlet in his hand, calling to find out more about our meetings.


We WILL make a difference. We won't stop until we do! Thank you - a thousand times over - to all of YOU, in blogland, who believe in us so much that you have done what this local hospital seems unable to do. You have prayed, donated, made buntings, blankets, and - by far the most helpful thing - told me through comments and emails that you are with me on this!


Can't wait to share the Happily Ever After with you.


**Jer has finished the first batch of memory boxes! 20 of them - wow - check it out! (I WILL UPDATE WITH A PICTURE LATER TODAY) Now, the shop class at the local high school gets to take over...but pray that this batch takes us a very, very long way into the future!