-Versary

One year ago inspiration struck.

Late September I Showed and Tell-ed about it, in the process reccomending a book that I truly feel everyone can take something from. (sorry - you'll have to click over to see :)

What did I take? Well - last April on a drippy Friday night I read the last page, closed the book and uncurled my legs from their frozen, almost-prickling position. This book, this writer, it threw me back, way back. I allowed the tears to stream, expecting to plummet over the far too familiar waterfall. Instead, a surprise emotion appeared in the water. Inspiration attached itself, following the current of tears, leading me gently downstream ...to my computer.

One year ago I began my book, this manuscript that has provided me pause on more than one occasion. But not in the beginning. From the onset my new idea blasted down the track like a steam engine out of control. I was working full time, waitressing, studying for my upcoming interpreter exam, - but I wrote. Oh, how I wrote long hours into the night without a care for time which melted away with the clattering sound of the keys leaving me in a meditative-like state.

Story poured out of me, memory by vision, some - first time recollections finally pushing their way through the filtered barrier built eight years ago. Emma sat with me. I could feel her smile, encouraging me to tell the whole truth, "be authentic" I heard as another day began and my fingers slowed, "this book is for your healing - and others".

And then, there was the research. Book writing was one thing, but book selling was quite another. As the summer approached I became a collector of all books writing related: How to write a book proposal, Finding The Perfect Agent for You, Non-Fiction at it's best...and so on. I devoured library's memoir sections for comparisons. I struggled with the "Author Background" section for it should really be headlined: "Self-Promotion", but I did it. I sifted through statistics for marketing, I presented my most creative ideas for the actual promotion section and rallied my friends to help me think of notable, strong women who had been through a loss and may be willing to review the book.

And there it was - a 100 page book proposal - as thick and heavy as a nice warm blanket resting on my dining room table, in July...

Three months, a third of a pregnancy, and I had the makings of a book...

TO BE CONTINUTED...SOON

Checklists and Checkmarks

As I logged in to the computer this morning and saw all the amazing comments on my Show-And-Tell post for this week (INTERUPTION: A BIG THANKS TO MY TECH. SUPPORT MICHELLE FOR THIS LINKING ABILITY!) I remembered It is Sunday, September 21st and ICLW kicks off today. I finished smiling at all the heartfelt remarks about my crazy mushroom and clicked over to the ICLW main page. This is my FIRST time participating and so I scrolled down, and down, and even further down to see...OMG 122 (that is ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO) bloggers ready to begin the commentathon.

Then, my natural instincts kicked in. There is NOTHING in this world I love more than a LIST! (ok- maybe a checklist so I can SEE my progress). That is why I copied and pasted the linkage list to a word document then printed it. I now have a hardcopy where I can place a perfectly formed "checkmark" next to each link as I visit and comment. Moreover, I can keep track of how many times I visit each blog and this will allow me to know who I am really connecting with. (anal? compulsive? a resounding need for order? - I don't know...you saw my pantry after all)

Speaking of pantries ... no my obsession with all things categorized would be better vizualized if I bullet off some of my past actions: (mom if the ages are off ...please comment!)

• Age 9 (ish) Turned my white pine bookshelf in my bedroom into a library by organizing the books into an alphabetical sequence (this reaked havoc with their ability to line up by height - but hey..what can you do?) and fixed each one with a label. Then HANDMADE a pre-windows spreadsheet looking-like-thing so you could (and here is where it gets a tad bit crazy...) CHECK THEM OUT!



• Age 12(ish) Completed unassigned and never-to-be-graded book reports in the SUMMER (probably a mental checklist I had created- who knows!)



• Age 15(ish) Labeled my mother's pantry with food and brand names in their designated locations to make unpacking the groceries "easier".
  

Ok - lists are one thing. Setting goals and reaching them while keeping track of your progress is a good thing, right? But here's the REAL problem. I don't like limits, they scare me. I like to be within the limits. I don't like getting down to the wire. I don't like deadlines they scare me too so I have to set a deadline within a deadline. (then why, do you ask are you writing a book?) A few more tell-tale examples:

• Age 20 - In College I ALWAYS finished my papers a day or two ahead of their duedates so I could, proof them, "just" one more time! (Ah-ha...the writer is vindicated)



• Age 22 - Planning a Wedding (Nuff Said!)



• Age 25 - Joined Weight Watchers to lose the weight from the first baby (Emma - stillborn) so I could get pregnant with the next. If my point limit was 25, I used 20. If my goal loss for the week was 1.5 pounds I lost 3. See a pattern?
  

Ok, now that I have effectively established my "live-by-the-ways-of-the-prescribed-world" personality (I have evolved - so don't judge too harshly please - smiles) I think you are in a better mindset to understand the rush of "checklist lust" that went through me when I saw the 122 blogs on the list. Truly, I have evolved, but I just CAN'T resist a checklist!Visting each one was never a question, How many do I need to visit each day? was the question ticker-taping through my frontal lobe. (me- grabbing a calculator and punching numbers...122 / 7) = 17.42 blogs a day. No biggie! 18 blogs a day (see I rounded up, not down??)

My self-imposed mission set I dove into my reading / commenting mode with coffee abounding. Only later, and by a fluke of the mouse, did I see this thing called the Iron Commentator. My delusional reaction? Hmmm...there are people that don't visit all the sites? Ahhh....I have come so far but I have so far to go. (NOTE: must meditate more every day!)

FYI - Yes, I've been to 18 blogs today.