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Sunday, December 13, 2009

Stepping Back - And Not Feeling Guilty About It!

I am not supposed to be here right now. We were suppoed to be at church early today. I was supposed to fill in for the church pageant director and lead the rehearsal. I was supposed to bring a quiche for the after church luncheon. We were supposed to stay and decorate the tree, while the kids all received small gifts.

We are not there.

The flurry of phone calls it took to un-clutter our morning wasn't fun. Making executive decisions never is, but it was necessary.

Comedian isn't well enough to be there. She needs to rest, to get fully better from the hacking cough and faucet of a nose she's lived with this week as we dragged her from one 'must attend' event to another, and yet another.

Bear isn't quite that under the weather, but has that peaky look around her eyes. A sign of fatigue that even I can't miss while she says, "I'm fine! I can go to everything!"

I was quite sick mid week, berating myself for staying home from school, even while I was shivering under the covers and my fever steadily climbed over the 102 mark.

And, to complete the family experience Jer was up all night, most of it spent in the bathroom, and looks like a paler, droopier version of a man today curled up on the couch unable to move.

So, I decided to cancel our morning, letting go of whatever the fallout is on the world. Truly, I don't think we can matter quite that much. The girls are snuggled under layers of covers watching the classic Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, and I felt great joy catching up on some blogs that were long overdue.

A lesson is to be learned here. I can say it out loud, as I did to my mother, "If it is a lack luster pageant next weekend it won't be the first, and probably won't be the last".

My family comes first. Their health is more important. Yes, Bear is Mary, mother of Jesus in the show. Oh well, he'll have to get by with Joseph for the day. Sure, I made a quiche for the lunch. Aw heck, guess I'll have to have a slice or two.

I think my husband put it best. "It just shows you that all the things we think are important really aren't. We have a good life without all the drama. It's that simple."

Hope your day is calm and bright and not filled with overwhelming drama!


Sara said...

It's amazing how many of the things we "have" to do, we don't really have to do. I finally learned to start letting go during my first pregnancy when I was just too exhausted to do some of the things I would normally do at Christmas time. I've been having a tough time this December so I cut out more than half my to do list. And it feels good. I had to let go of a few things I didn't have to do but wanted to do too, but I'm finding I'm okay with that. Enjoy your day off.

ezra'smommy said...

Good for you Cara, that letting go if the 'musts' and 'shoulds' is so important from time to time.

Michelle said...

Definitely a good decision. I hope you are all feeling better really soon!

MrsSpock said...

Stepping back after a fever and pukies is nothing to feel guilty for- enjoy the day off!

The Blue Sparrow said...

Hope everyone is feeling better soon! Enjoy the quiche!

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