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Saturday, February 14, 2009

Show and Tell - Valentine


We saw Fireproof last night. At the showing a couple turned and asked the obvious question, "How long have you been married?" "Nine years in May" we answered, surprised at how that can be. The movie was touching, inspiring and found us looking at each other with new eyes over and over again.

"This movie isn't just for couples in crisis" the speaker concluded when the last credit had rolled. "Some said to me just the other day, 'We are taking the love dare to take our great marriage and make it greater.'"

We never had a bad marriage, just one that was tested early with a hellish life-altering scenario. And, we - as individuals and a couple, were left to make sense of Emma's death for the rest of our lives. What remained of us were two very different people who needed to re-discover who they wanted to be in this world and how that looked as a united front.

Our shift started about a year and a half ago. We began meditating, separately. We both started yoga - it works for me, not for him - and that's ok. We worked hard to turn negative thoughts and words into positive ones. We have both had a drastic shift in perspective away from commerical objects and toward embracing time with family. Away from thinking future or past and focusing on living the moment. And - the most profound - but not always the easiest shift of them all - has been our committment to listen without judgement to each other.

This doesn't happen every day, or even most days some weeks. But, on the whole over the last 18 months, our shift has created a happy, content, and MUCH calmer home.
Today - I have to say, was the best Valentine's Day of all our years together.

His gift to me?
A 90 minute yoga class first thing in the morning. (Um - we live in the snowy mountains so the beach shot appealed to me, but I was in a warmed solarium with a nice view of a hot tub!)

When I arrived home - I found he and the kids had been busy...

Their gift to me? I mean - is really isn't V-day without Bar.bie on your card, is it?

And - when they woke up from sweet-dreamy naps, we made the best Valentine-pink-frosting-as-many-sprinkles-as-you-can-fit cookies ever!


I don't know if we'll do the Love Dare -maybe - but I do know that today our house is very much filled with love through actions and not filled with flowers and candy.

Click back over to see what everyone else is showing and telling.

11 comments:

Cassandra said...

I was gonna say... I haven't spent a lot of time in Vermont, but I've definitely never seen an ocean there.

Yummy-looking cookies!

Kristin said...

In many ways, it sounds like you are describing my marriage. We've been tested early and often but we made it through together and have a stronger and, dare I say, happier marriage for it.

Liv said...

I so wanted to see Fireproof. I love Kirk Cameron's story and how they've been married for 17 years in hollywood as a young coulple is huge.

What a great Valentine's day gift and the cards are adorable!

Bluebird said...

Ohhhhh, what a special day! I'm so happy for you.

Jo said...

We watched the movie last week, and I, too, found it inspiring.

It is amazing how, if we stick together, we can come through such tragedy and be stronger for it.

Happy Valentine's Day -- I am so glad it was a good one.

Beautiful Mess said...

It amazed me to learn a few years ago that marriage is always work. Both parties must work at it, not just one. I'm so glad things are well for both of you as a couple and as individuals. Those cookies look SO yummy!

k@lakly said...

Yummy!! What a wonderful day, exactly as it should be spent, no commercialism, just the real deal.
Happy hearts day!

WiseGuy said...

Nine Years! Great going!

Love what the girls did for you - the card (barbie and all) and the sweet that went with it.

:)

JamieD said...

Nothing says love like Barbie!!

What a wonderful Valentine's Day . . . it isn't any wonder you have only gotten stronger after nine years.

The Steadfast Warrior said...

A warmed solarium may not be the beach but it must have been lovely and cozy! Yummy looking cookies. Looks like you guys had a great V-Day.

Wishing 4 One said...

What a great day! I heard alot about that movie, haven't seen it. Your kids are amazing, love the card and the cookies look super yummy too! I know you smiled many times that day, very cool.

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