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This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another.

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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Show and Tell: Birthdays and Deathdays

I suppose there really isn't much of a difference in this show and tell.
We celebrated Emma Grace last Tuesday on what would have been her 9th birthday.
No pictures of her thined out, well past little girl face. Just those of our everchanging ones that transform annually in her scrapbook.

The cake, strawberry - just as Bear said it should be.

Days later, the phone rang. "Great Gram has passed" my mother in law said, continuing with details about the funeral this week.

"Your Great, Great Grandmother has died" I told the kids, next day over breakfast.

"Is that the lady that Gram took me to see?" asked Bear, "The one who was 100 and sooooo old she couldn't even get out of bed, or walk, or talk?"

"Yes dear" I said, "that's her. Great Great Gram Brown". "Oh," continued Bear, "Well I still have a Grandma and a Great Grandma and Emma was waiting for her so I guess everything is just fine."

Oh Yes my sweet girl. A long and happy life ended by age is what I would call 'just fine'. And, although it took me a bit of time to find this picture, it was worth it to remember when she could walk, and talk, and hold newborn baby girls with the love of family still intact in her mind and heart.

What are you show and telling?


Kristin said...

"Oh," continued Bear, "Well I still have a Grandma and a Great Grandma and Emma was waiting for her so I guess everything is just fine."

That comment is such a tribute to you as a mother and to the wonderful outlook on life, death, and everything that your girls have.

Salma said...

Wow...the insight...I think your daughter is much better at figuring this out than I am.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

Out of the mouths of babes, as they say. Incredibly powerful!

Another Dreamer said...

Ah, the beauty of the child's mind... they can see things in such a different light than us sometimes.

I am thinking about you all.

Once A Mother said...

it speaks volumes about your parenting for your child to have such a beautiful acceptance of the passing of a loved one.

I am sorry for your loss... even when our loved ones have lived out long days on earth, it is still hard to say goodbye. I hope she blesses you with many sweet memories, I am sure she will tell your little girl in heaven all sorts of stories about her mommy.

Bluebird said...

I continue to be amazed and humbled by the wisdom of your children.

Michelle said...

I love how children can just see how things are and put it into words. There innocence is just so beautiful. If only us adults could look at things this way.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am so sorry about the loss, but what an amazing picture--to have a great-great-grandmother holding the baby.

Brenna said...

The photo is beautiful, as is Bear's comment. I've never met them, but I love your children (which speaks volumes about their momma!).

Lynn said...

Beautiful photos! So sorry for your loss, but such a great thing for your children to have a memory of her and know she went on to be with their big sister and keep her company.

MrsSpock said...

So sorry about the death of great, great Gram. Thoughtful and true words from Bear...

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