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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Show and Tell - Refrigerator Surprise

I don't love venison. It's not necessarily because of the vegetarian point of view and I'm not even bothered so much by the perspective of the hunting community. I just don't like the taste. The fact that it is leaner and therefore, healthier for you than beef, doesn't persuade me.

Honestly, I feel the same ambiguity about beef. Interestingly, I am often asked as I order a 'veggie sandwich' or a local venue's creation called 'the asparagui', "Are you a vegatarian?" To which I reply, "I could have been, but I married into the wrong family".

For, this, is what one of our chest freezers looks like, nearly empty.

In a few months I will be mentally thrown back to my retail days in the dairy cooler as we rotate the 08 meat to make space for the newly wrapped sirloin, hamburg, chuck steak, stew meat and top and bottom rounds of 2009.

And so, it is not uncommon for the inside of my fridge to look something like this:
as a variety of beef and pork selections naturally defrost to meet the requirements of my menu planning for that week.

Yesterday, I opened the fridge to see a stack of meat taller and wider than I remember taking out for the week. I pulled one package after another - venision...the whole bunch. Eyebrows furrowed, I tried to make out the markings R.K.

You see, when we slaughter it is a very old-fashioned, men in the basement with sharp objects and women upstairs with paper and tape kind of process. We, the women that is, write things on the packages like the date, what variety of cut it is, and the initials of the person who owns the chest freezer the package will call home.

C.T. would have made sense. J.T would have made more sense. D.T, his brother, could even have cause me to stop mentally searching as they often trade cuts depending on what is left in each other's stock. But R.K. I couldn't place.

And then, with a clarity and connectedness to rival Keyser Soze, it hit me...

The dent in his brother's car

The phone call Sunday morning

The glimpse of a ribcage in the back of a truck as I dropped the girls off for church


Road Kill

There's got to be a redneck joke in there somewhere, but right now I am hardpressed to find the humor in it. Ick. Just Ick.

What are you showing and telling?


LuckyOnce said...

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to come up with something nearly as hilarious as that for my show and tell. That's really something. :)

Sara said...

I'm making a mental note to request no RK on the off-chance I am ever invited to dinner.

Michelle said...

RK... you are right just ICK!! I do not like venison either. I am glad I am not married to a hunter.

Anonymous said...

This made me laugh out loud!

Wow, just wow.

At least that deer did not die in vain.

Suzy said...

Oh my! Sorry, but I laughed out loud when you said it was road kill. There's lots of jokes about that here down south, but none come to mind right now. I'm still amazed.

That's a pretty awesome show and tell!

T Lee said...

Gaahhhh, nooooo!!! Venison, ok... roadkill, um, frightening, lol.

Kristin said... it. Too funny.

Lavender Luz said...

OK, from now on whenever I see a formerly living thing on the side of the road, I will be remembering this post of yours!

areyoukiddingme said...

I agree with you on the taste of venison (although I do like beef. a lot). We had venison steaks sitting our freezer for a couple years, before I finally just threw them away. Road kill venison just has an extra special ick factor. Oh well, make it into chili for the family and have a different meal yourself that night!

Flying Monkeys said...

No...really? Ew. I grew up on venison, I dislike it immensely though we're talking about adding it back to our diet because it's lean. Barf.

Bluebird said...

Oh my gosh you're *killing* me! First I gasped, then I laughed. I mean - really. Just really. :)

Caitlin said...

OMG this was a hilarious post! Sounds like something my uncles would do...yes unfortunately I come from a family of hunters and have been in the kitchen on labeling duty before. My heart goes out to you! :)

Amy said...

That's hysterical. I love a good steak, but I am pretty convinced that if I had to kill my own meat, or be near people you killed my meat, I would be a vegetarian for sure!

MrsSpock said...

RK- eek! Totally wrong, dudes.

I tried venison for the first time at a fancy restaurant locally- it was my husband's- and it was really good. But kind of different. I don't think I could have eaten a big hunk of it in one sitting.

The Blue Sparrow said...

My husband is an avid deer hunter. He is gearing up for Thursday(Opening day) I have bought hamburger only a handful of times since meeting my husband. I will eat it and I dont mind the taste. I was so with you on this post up until I read road kill! Ick is right! Lol! Im curious though, what did you do with it, lol!?

KuKd Chick said...

Ew! I'm going to go check the bacon package in my fridge to make sure I know it's source. Probably a factory in New Jersey or something equally terrible - but at least that's a step up from the side of Interstate 5. Yuck!

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