Welcome Mothers, Fathers, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends and anyone else who needs an ear...Please come with an open heart.

This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another.

Please cry if you need to.
Please connect with others who are in your same space.
Please email me if you feel led to
Please comment so we know what you need
Please tell your story

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Candles Brightly Burning (Kids Mentioned)

What a week.

Monday I feld led to embrace and celebrate Emma regardles of the date on the calendar. Big.

Last night, the world came together to create a collective wave of light for all our little ones who flew too soon.

I hope this wave of light EDUCATED many in the world. Many who have not been touched by this kind of loss, but still harbor misconceptions about preganancy loss, stillbirth, and infant death. (Yes - I know the article is old - but our message isn't!)

Anyway - yesterday afternoon I sat down my little girls and we talked:

ME: Today is a special day.

Bear: Do we get a special treat?

The Comedian: Is it a birthday? I like cake - but not the black cake, only the yellow cake. Yes, cake is good, but cake not good for you. Cake a special treat - we get a special treat?

(Ahhh- didn't I just answer that?)

ME: No, it isn't a birthday. It is more like a "Remembering Day".

Bear: But you ask me to remember things everyday: my lunch box, my sneaker shoes, my teacher's folder...(she could have listed forever)

ME (holding a candle - a visual referance is always good): Ladies, tonight at 7:00 all the moms and dads, grandparents, family and friends of babies who went to heaven are going to light a candle -to REMEMBER them.

Bear (really thinking now): Emma went to heaven.

ME: Yes

Bear: Lots of other babies went to heaven?

Me (sadly) - Yes

Bear: Babies in Poland?

(NOTE: She stays after school for a once a week library program where they study other countries. Yesterday was Poland.)

ME: Yes sweetie. Babies all over the world: Poland, Canada, China and here in our country.

Bear (in an accepting and all business voice) - "Oh" - and she walks off.

The Comedian: Where's the cake? (Yeah - I know she's a laugh riot)

I walk into the kitchen, start dinner, and ten minutes later - just when the other room is getting a little tooooo quiet, I hear "Mom - come see what I did". (Bear, of course)

It looked even more stunning after lighting them.

Here's to every one of you and your angels.


Dora said...

Wow! She's awesome. Give Bear a hug from me.

I thought I told you to stop making me cry.

Michelle said...

She is so great!!

Thank you for the beautiful person you are and always creating beautiful posts and leaving nice comments.

Kristin said...

What an incredible little girl.

CLC said...

So beautiful. What a thoughtful daughter you have!

k@lakly said...

Simply beautiful and honest. Thinking of you and yours today and always.

MrsSpock said...

Ah- what a sweet girl!

Martha said...

Here's to your Angels, precious girls three. Thank you, Bear, you made me smile and get a tear all at once.

CappyPrincess said...

How sweet that Bear would add her thoughts to the day.

Jaymee said...

what amazingly compassionate and caring children you are raising.

i think they deserve some yellow cake.

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