THE MISSION

Welcome Mothers, Fathers, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends and anyone else who needs an ear...Please come with an open heart.

This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another.

Please cry if you need to.
Please connect with others who are in your same space.
Please email me if you feel led to
Please comment so we know what you need
Please tell your story

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Show and Tell - The Show

My husband is allegic to poison ivy. Well, if we were to get techincal about it, he is allergic to the oil on the plant.

"Hmmm" he muttered about a week before our anniversary in May, "I think I might have gotten into some poison ivy."

"I'll call the doctor" I said. "No" he replied, "I don't think it's much. Maybe it won't happen".

A week later I was making calls. I was cancelling the childcare we had in place for our weekend getatway. And, of course, one to the doctor - for him.

"Sorry" he muttered, over and over. "No problem" I said, meaning it, we'll just cash in on those childcare overnights and go away for Emma's birthday this year. It will be great!"

It had hit his blood stream.
He was covered head to toe, literally.

It took six weeks to clear up.

Ick.

***
Because the weekend of Emma's birthday we will be at The SIMON Project's Ride to Remember (a SIDS foundation that supports support groups) we are taking our mini-vaca this weekend.

"Um, I hate to say this but I think I got in the ivy again." He told me this on Saturday. Saying nothing in return I picked up the phone. "You have an appointment at 2pm" I told him five minutes later, "and we are going away this weekend. I don't care that we can't afford it. We can't afford not to go. Get your meds and start taking them today."

We really can't afford it - financially I mean. I already have had to make choices to delay paying things that allow me to without penalty. But I speak the truth when I say that we cannot afford not to go.

This time of year it is essential for me to feel connected. If not, I can easily drift so far into myself that I become strangely vacant. It happened just a few weeks ago and it isn't pretty. And so, somehow we will find a way to get here:

To the top of Mount Washington.
We might even take this:

The Cog Railway.


And with any luck, and perhaps a little angel on our side, we might get to see this.


We will bask in each other's presence. Just to two of us, going grass roots to rediscover the things about each other that made us look twice all those years ago.

***

"Damn" he muttered, August 8th 1999. I feared he might be out of words, for we had talked the night away, unable to leave each other's side, "I think this might be the beginning of something special."
Well, I say: Damn the weather. Damn our finances. Damn that poison ivy.

We will go to the top of that glorious mountain. And we will come back renewed. Ready to start the school year. Ready to celebrate our daughter's heavenly birthday. Renewed and ready.

So there's The Show...Next week, The Tell! What is the rest of the class show and telling?

14 comments:

Bluebird said...

I am beyond excited for you two. I hope it's wonderful. (And for the love of Mike, make him stay out of the poison ivy!!)

Sara said...

Sounds good, but I think you should walk up that mountain.

Michelle said...

WOW that looks BEaUTIFUL!!! You are going to have a great time!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I hope you have the most amazing trip this weekend. Relaxing, beautiful, and connective.

Once A Mother said...

I hope you have a beautiful trip. I am sorry about the ivy, but can empathize, I am so majorly allergic too. I understand what you mean about retreating back into yourself, I think it is good that you are taking the trip, and hope it brings you peace and beautiful moments with your husband and the spirit and memories of your sweet child.

Kristin said...

Have a fantabulous weekend my friend.

Another Dreamer said...

Looks like it will be a beautiful trip. And yes, keep him out of the poison ivy!

Lavender Luz said...

I know you are both just itching to go (baDUMbum).

I've been to the hotel at Mt Washington. BeYOOtiful area.

Renew yourselves.

Brenna said...

Cara, I hope you have a wonderful trip filled with beautiful moments! Can't wait to hear the "tell."

Lin said...

Have a wonderful trip!! It looks absolutely heavenly!

HC said...

That looks like a beautiful place. Enjoy you trip.

Martha said...

So lovely, enjoy.

MrsSpock said...

I hope your mini-vacay is wonderful and refreshing- and that poison ivy stays away!

Once A Mother said...

Cara,
I am giving you the Honest Scrap award for your blog because your writing is so sincere and honest and written so from the heart. You can stop by my last post for the details.

Lost Found Connections Abound! It Works - So Let's Use It!

Submit My News Click here to submit my news to the LFCA

CATCH UP FROM THE START!

TO READ MY STORY FROM THE BEGINNING CLICK HERE THEN READ THE 7 COUNTDOWN POSTS TO EMMA'S EIGHTH BIRTHDAY!


Time Is Both My Best Ally and My Worst Enemy: My Meltdown 8 Years Later