The pale purple hat I'm packing is Share Southern Vermont Representative.
I swung into the resturant last night to pick up my tips check and my boss said, "Have a great trip! It is business or pleasure?"
The question threw me. After a beat I said, "both". It is I think.
I mean, I will learn many useful and important tools about running a Share group, leading the corporation and meeting active griever's needs. (business)
But, I will also meet a host of new people in the grief world. Some, will have lost children of their own and others will be there to gain a sensativity for grief in the workplace (most nurses or doctors). In both "nice to meet you" conversations Emma will come up. And, it will be expected that she does. And, the best part of all, the mention of her name will be accepted and understood. (pleasure)
And yes, it truly will be a pleasure even if I shed some tears, for speaking of her, telling her story, sharing her life has become enjoyable. The knife-like edge has worn away, so when I speak her name it sounds likes music. A smile accompanies the syllables. I feel her with me. Our logo says it all - we hold our hearts in our hands.
I have no expectations for this trip. I imagine there will be wireless, and of course - I'll check in, but I also know that I have to let this journey evolve and just...be what is it meant to be. I will meditate everyday - of that I am sure, for through meditation I will be better able to hear my inner voice calling me, leading me.
Back on Monday...now - must go do laundry!