Welcome Mothers, Fathers, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends and anyone else who needs an ear...Please come with an open heart.

This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another.

Please cry if you need to.
Please connect with others who are in your same space.
Please email me if you feel led to
Please comment so we know what you need
Please tell your story

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Breakdown - Part 6 "The Resolution"

'The Resolution" **

I have learned so much this past year. I learned a great deal that day I fell under the weight of grief without expecting to.

I have learned how using words to process my grief is my process.
I have learned how good it feels to share them with you - and hear yours.
I have leaned that a journey is exactly that, a series of moments with no ETA or goal location.

I knew all this, once upon a moon. I forgot. I'm not sure when or where, but I am so very grateful to have regained perspective.

Now - I know a list of entirely different, hopeful things.

I know I have found a book format that feels good, feeds my soul - and in turn, has the ability to feed others. It will be published. I don't know when but it matters very little to me.

I know my husband has found his center, for when confronted with my emotional breakdown, the likes of which he hasn't seen in a VERY long time, he acted quickly, with compassion. He possessed an innate knowledge for what I needed in that moment, even when I didn't.

I know it is my responsibility to put myself first: body, mind, and soul. It feels good to do it.

I also know, that this - my blog - has become like my second home. I love it here because you welcome all emotion without judgement. You support and confirm this process, and I yours. It is a relationship founded on blind faith that we have something to offer each other. It is a connection of the rarest kind.

Hi! I'm Cara. I have three kids - two sit at the dinner table.

I know I am ok.

** This is the final part of my Meltdown series. If you are just coming in, you may find it helpful to read: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, AND PART 5. They are on the top bar in order.


Amy said...

I like that, "Hi, I'm Cara. I have three kids - two sit at the dinner table."

Very nicely put! Big hugs, Amy

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...


Kristin said...

Well said Cara! {{{Hugs}}} and love.

Brenna said...

I like your second home very much. :) And I'm so impressed by your husband's handling of the meltdown, he sounds like a very special individual. I look forward to reading your book some day.


Barbara said...

I know you're ok too!


Bluebird said...

What a wonderful resolution. It really sounds as if you came full circle. You have a renewed perspective and a husband who clearly adores you! I'm so glad. Thank you for trusting us enough to share all this.

k@lakly said...

I wrote a long while back, before we 'met' that it often feels as though we should introduce ourselves like they do at AA meetings.
"Hi, I'm k@lakly, I have a dead baby." is how I closed that post. I love, in a weird dead baby club way, that you have written about it too. It reaffirms for me how small and eerily similar our little corner of the universe is. Even tho we don't know each other, we really know each other don't we?

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Time Is Both My Best Ally and My Worst Enemy: My Meltdown 8 Years Later