Coming Full Circle

I FINALLY heard from the hospital (backstory here)- , and only because I called back every two weeks for the last six. They, are "not going to accept services at this time". I have left a message for the Childbirth Nurse Supervisor, as I am unclear which services they are saying "no" to. I mean, the proposal was extensive.

Are they saying no to:

• Handmade Memory boxes created by a bereaved father with donated materials ?


• A local Share support-group to aide recently grieving parents?
  
• If the parents ask, a dedicated worker ready to drive to the hospital at any time of day or night to sit with them and their angel?
  
• Someone with a history of grant writing who has already done legwork to see what is available?


• A local professional photographer I found who is looking forward to volunteering for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and serving our community in their time of need?


• A minimal start-up fee to bring crucial information and respect to newly bereaved parents in the form of pamphlets, staff training, and monthly newsletters.
  

I guess they are saying "no" to investing any funds to make this happen. I'm not sure I will get a specific answer from them, and to be honest I'm not angry or surprised for that matter. What I am is sad. I'm sad that WE continue to have to fight for our cause.

To fight for recognition that we had a child, even if they aren't in our arms as we leave the hospital.

To cry out for services, even in the first few days after our loss.

To acknowledge that we need the doctors and nurses to respect us with choices and appropriate "loss bags" filled with current resources for reading and viewing.

I have always believed that one person CAN make a difference when a message has been written on their heart. In the wake of this recent election, I KNOW it is true! I recently wrote in an email, "I'm always up for digging in and doing some hard work - but not when the wheel is already there!" That was about thirty minutes ago. Who knew my words would hold such meaning so soon.

Apparently there is some hard work to be done here. The wheel has yet to reach my small southern Vermont landscape. Truly, I understand that I cannot attack each and every goal from the proposal at once. I would find myself in a physical state of nuclear meltdown and I don't even want to think what my family might find on the dinner table!

So, for all of you, here is my intention:

-To attack one important step at a time. To give each focus my all with gentle prodding, kind words and an inspirational outcome.

Ok - I guess I already broke my rule cause here's two things- but hey - I am a classic overachiever!

1. J. will be working in his shop tonight to construct a prototype of the Memory Box. We want to make a couple changes, for example, instead of the tile inlay we would like to have a removable piece of glass so the parents could insert their child's photo, footprint, lock of hair, or just name and date. He may also make it more rectangular so folded letters could fit easily.

With this visual aide, I will be able to appraoch local businesses and box stores with our mission, asking for donation of wood, hardware and tile inlets.

2. Very soon (as soon as I figure it out that is) you will see a donation button on my sidebar. I struggle with asking others to donate their hard-earned money. But, it appears that I have no choice but to tackle this here, within the world of those who know the pain and understand the loss. My first goal is:

To raise enough money to begin a Share Southern Vermont Group

The Goal is $450. It includes:

• The Share start-up fee for a small hospital


• Tuition for one person to attend the annual training conference in Missouri

The benefits?

• Support and Counsel of the National Share Office


• Monthly Off Site Support Groups for Bereaved Families


• On Call Service for Emotional Support
  
• Continual Maintenance and Updating of Loss Packet Contents


• 20 % Discount on Materials Purchased from the Share Bereavement Resource Catalog


• Five Copies of the Bi-Monthly Parent’s Newsletter, Sharing


• National Listing of Perinatal Loss Support Groups and Resources


• Self-Explored Support Resources (like the Websites and Reading Lists Provided)


• Motivates the Patient to Take Control of his or her Grief Journey.


• Promotes Mental Health into a Second or Third Pregnancy.
  
• Community Awareness and Education of our Mission through High School Woodworking and Technical Centers as they Make the Memory Boxes


• Educational and Counseling Support for Staff
  
• Provides Much Needed Compassionate Service Through Community Outreach and Resources

Thank you for reading through this post: braving the frustration, the slightly bitter tone, and the sadness. Thank you for also sharing my hope that this CAN be done. This WILL be done!

If you feel led to pray for me, please do.

If you feel led to donate: THANK YOU!

In love, grief and hope,

Cara