Welcome Mothers, Fathers, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends and anyone else who needs an ear...Please come with an open heart.

This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another.

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Please tell your story

Monday, December 8, 2008

Hearing Silence

When you start a business they say it takes five years to get your financial feet under you, to show a resonable profit and to feel like you can predict your market.

When you own a resturant, you can look back at last years numbers for this weekend to gauge how many staff to have on and how much food to prep.

When you author a blog in September and coast into your first holiday season surrounded by others touched by infertility and loss, you have no idea what to I ask this question without any statistical foundation or past experience to qualify it.

Is is just me or does it seem like the blogosphere at large is slowing down, going inward this time of year? A few weeks ago I could hardly keep up with the daily posts, and those were just the ones coming up on my reader. Now, I can catch up in a brief spell at the keyboard.

The tone of the posts I am reading are somewhat guarded. The world and all it hoopla surrounding Christmas is difficult to miss - blinders only dim the flashing lights of joy and optimism on every rooftop. Are we all feeling conflicted? To celebrate or not to that the question?

And then, there are the every growing group of wonder-women who are hoping for a BFP under their Christmas tree (or in whatever form your gift giving traditions hold). Your TWW nearly coinsiding with the number of days until Christmas only further murkifies (I know - definately not a word) the way you see this red and green world. For you it all comes down to one or two lines.

So, is that why people are more hesitant to put their thoughts and ideas out there - because we have no idea what to say, let alone think, within this socially prescribed blender of holiday cheer?

It could, of course, be as simple as a time crunch: too much to do in too little time. If that is the case, then chaulk this post up to a writer's need to over analyze.

If, however, my ever dramatic intuitive nature is serving me, and you are feeling blue, perheps even falling into a holdiay depression - then please know that this post is for you. Not to cheer you up - I doubt anyone could do that right now, but to let you know that you are missed.

A philosophical question: If a tree falls in the woods and no-one is there to hear it does it make a sound?

We hear you loud and clear. Your melocholy resonates through the silence. Go inward. Be sad. Miss your babies. Wonder about your future. We are all here, waiting, for when you are ready to return to this forum of words, love and support.

A new year, a new start - another chance to jump up and catch your dreams.


CLC said...

I've noticed the same. It's much easier to go a few days for me now because the amount of posts are slimmer than they have been. Can't speak for anyone else, but I just haven't had much to say lately, at least anything that I haven't already said 10x before.

Hope's Mama said...

Ahh yes, that would be me here down under waiting for the two pink lines under the Christmas tree (which we are not putting up this year). And er, um, yes that two week wait starts tomorrow!!! Best I be getting busy!

Michelle said...

For me it's the marker of time that every year I say next year at Christmas I will either have a baby or be expecting one and I'm not so it bums me out! But thank you. You are so thoughtful.

k@lakly said...

I notice an ebb and flow to the world of db's. I think sometimes we all just need to sit and pause. But we all come back, like moth to the flame...

Andrew's Mama said...

Interesting perspective. I'm way to new to this environment to do any reflecting of this type. I just know that my "novice" curiosity keeps me addicted to reading the words that are shared. It's like a balm that soothes my heart at a time of year that is normally filled with pure heart ache and a whole lot of seeking out something to soothe me. This year instead of shopping, Ben & Jerry's, or snuggling up to the Hallmark channel it's reading and sharing these encouraging stories from fellow moms. Whatever gets you through the night......... as my husband often says to me................

Elize said...

Very perseptive of you! I for one have been quiet and I've also noted a decline in posts. During the last month or so I really don't know what to say, I'm at a total loss for words. Is it because yet another year has gone by and no baby? Who knows, what I do know is that I'm tired. I'm tired of infertility and need I break from it.

The Turtle and the Monkey said...

This time of year is filled with emotions that I just can't seem to find the words to convey. The words that do come, I feel I have said before. They seem to not be enough to express how I truly feel.

The season is full of contradictions. The holidays are magical, yet tainted by the huge gaping hole in my life.

Martha said...

Beautiful post, Cara. I am allowing myself to feel the sadness this year, recognize it is part of the sweetness.

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