Welcome Mothers, Fathers, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends and anyone else who needs an ear...Please come with an open heart.

This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another.

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Please tell your story

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Checklists and Checkmarks

As I logged in to the computer this morning and saw all the amazing comments on my Show-And-Tell post for this week (INTERUPTION: A BIG THANKS TO MY TECH. SUPPORT MICHELLE FOR THIS LINKING ABILITY!) I remembered It is Sunday, September 21st and ICLW kicks off today. I finished smiling at all the heartfelt remarks about my crazy mushroom and clicked over to the ICLW main page. This is my FIRST time participating and so I scrolled down, and down, and even further down to see...OMG 122 (that is ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO) bloggers ready to begin the commentathon.

Then, my natural instincts kicked in. There is NOTHING in this world I love more than a LIST! (ok- maybe a checklist so I can SEE my progress). That is why I copied and pasted the linkage list to a word document then printed it. I now have a hardcopy where I can place a perfectly formed "checkmark" next to each link as I visit and comment. Moreover, I can keep track of how many times I visit each blog and this will allow me to know who I am really connecting with. (anal? compulsive? a resounding need for order? - I don't saw my pantry after all)

Speaking of pantries ... no my obsession with all things categorized would be better vizualized if I bullet off some of my past actions: (mom if the ages are off ...please comment!)

  • Age 9 (ish) Turned my white pine bookshelf in my bedroom into a library by organizing the books into an alphabetical sequence (this reaked havoc with their ability to line up by height - but hey..what can you do?) and fixed each one with a label. Then HANDMADE a pre-windows spreadsheet looking-like-thing so you could (and here is where it gets a tad bit crazy...) CHECK THEM OUT!

  • Age 12(ish) Completed unassigned and never-to-be-graded book reports in the SUMMER (probably a mental checklist I had created- who knows!)

  • Age 15(ish) Labeled my mother's pantry with food and brand names in their designated locations to make unpacking the groceries "easier".

Ok - lists are one thing. Setting goals and reaching them while keeping track of your progress is a good thing, right? But here's the REAL problem. I don't like limits, they scare me. I like to be within the limits. I don't like getting down to the wire. I don't like deadlines they scare me too so I have to set a deadline within a deadline. (then why, do you ask are you writing a book?) A few more tell-tale examples:

  • Age 20 - In College I ALWAYS finished my papers a day or two ahead of their duedates so I could, proof them, "just" one more time! (Ah-ha...the writer is vindicated)

  • Age 22 - Planning a Wedding (Nuff Said!)

  • Age 25 - Joined Weight Watchers to lose the weight from the first baby (Emma - stillborn) so I could get pregnant with the next. If my point limit was 25, I used 20. If my goal loss for the week was 1.5 pounds I lost 3. See a pattern?

Ok, now that I have effectively established my "live-by-the-ways-of-the-prescribed-world" personality (I have evolved - so don't judge too harshly please - smiles) I think you are in a better mindset to understand the rush of "checklist lust" that went through me when I saw the 122 blogs on the list. Truly, I have evolved, but I just CAN'T resist a checklist!Visting each one was never a question, How many do I need to visit each day? was the question ticker-taping through my frontal lobe. (me- grabbing a calculator and punching numbers...122 / 7) = 17.42 blogs a day. No biggie! 18 blogs a day (see I rounded up, not down??)

My self-imposed mission set I dove into my reading / commenting mode with coffee abounding. Only later, and by a fluke of the mouse, did I see this thing called the Iron Commentator. My delusional reaction? Hmmm...there are people that don't visit all the sites? Ahhh....I have come so far but I have so far to go. (NOTE: must meditate more every day!)

FYI - Yes, I've been to 18 blogs today.


kateypie35 said...

Wow, I am so impressed! There are some days I have trouble visiting 5 blogs, and you managed 18! Phew!!

Here from ICLW, and will return!


Cassandra said...

You and I have a lot in common! For ICLW, I check them off (actually, I record the date and whether they're returned or regular comments) in a computer spreadsheet. I'm not going for Iron Commentor this month because of limited time, but last month I made it (and really loved the sense of accomplishment). The spreadsheet was essential since I don't go down the list in order but use a complicated algorithm and also refuse to comment until there's a post to which I have a substantive response.

As for labeling and alphabetizing books as a child, yup, 5th grade.

I don't tend to do things early though, because I'm either busy making them perfect until the end, or I put them off because there are so many other things that demand my careful attention.

Extremely high conscientiousness is both a wonderful blessing and a major hindrance sometimes. I am incapable of doing a not-perfect job. Even with things I don't care about, or things that don't matter.

ICLW is my favorite time of the blogging month. Have fun!

Mrs Woggie said...

You are taking your first ICLW very very seriously! Well done!

I just took a sneak peak of your pantry pictures too, I like it! There is nothing better than I nice and neat pantry!!

Thank you for visiting my blog :D I'm now returning your comment!

heather said...

I'm glad someone will be visiting all 122 blogs, because it certainly won't be me. Heck, I'm trying to squeeze my six in before the clock rolls past midnight over here. :)

My ridiculous record keeping story to share: From seventh grade through high school, I kept a list of what outfit I wore each school day. So I wouldn't repeat any one outfit too often.

Cara said...

Ahhh...we are complicated souls, aren't we? Imagine the shifting in our inner-make up that occurs when we find we can't have or lose a child. Where are the checklists for that? I guess that is why grieving throws me for an obvious loop occasionally.

Thanks everyone for supporting my madness!

theclam said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog - you are organised!

Your pantry looks GREAT :) *sigh* wish I had a pantry to organise (my food cupboard though is just like your pantry nix the jars cos I don't jar)

Now off to record my returned comment on my xcel spreadsheet ;)

Michelle said...

Thanks for your comments and to my surprise the link on your post. I am glad the linking is working for you. You sound a lot like me but maybe a little more extreme. I thought I was organized but apparently I have nothing on you. :)I started thinking I would do all 122 but I have been rethinking it because it's a lot! Good luck with your quest. Maybe I will be there at the end...or maybe not. :)

I Believe in Miracles said...

This is awesome. I love this post. I can totally relate to some of the list, check off things - I did the alphabetical organization a couple times, but I need your key to the weight loss! Still working on that one.
I definitely created a spreadsheet to track my ICLW comments. But I don't think it is quite as involved as cassandra's. Of course, I couldn't comment yesterday so I'd have to visit 32 today. Not sure I'm going to make it. Good luck!!

CappyPrincess said...

Aren't lists wonderful? And organized anything is a blessing!

Good luck on that ICLW reading goal. I set the same goal last month. And then I realized that life is just too much sometimes. So this month I made it a goal to visit all the blogs I didn't get to last time (if they appear this month) and then start the others... thank goodness I kept the list from last month, eh? LOL

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Sharon said...

Happy NCLW! I thought I would just pop in and say HELLO from Seattle! Well...there is NO WAY I am going to keep up with you! I have started at the bottom and working my way to the top!

You are AWESOME!!

Sharon LaMothe
Infertility Answers, Inc.

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