Personally, I don't think there is much inherent lingusitic derivation between these two phrases. I mean, I thought I was doing the former with grace, maybe even style - micro-managing the countless focuses of my life: the dropping off to school, creating a column worth reading, the house, the seasonal switch of car tires, the food, the laundry, this blog and, of course, the non-profit that has become my life.
In fact, yesterday during the whirlwhind that was our memory walk (note: I hope the only person that felt whirwindish was me...) when I was being approached with linguistic questions both in person and over that confundeled walkie-talkie thing (why on earth do they say 'roger'? - seriously), my dad heard someone say, "Women can multi task, Men can't."
Of course this statement could be debated for I know a great many men who do numerous things at the same time, but regardless of the gender overextending themselves, my question stands: Effectively multi-tasking or Neglecting effectively?
Twenty-four hours after the most intensive event I have ever planned (with much help!) I am forced to admit I have done the latter, perhaps - with just a little of the afore mentioned 'grace' and, maybe even a smidge of 'style' - maybe.
And before you start pumping me up with accalaids and emotional cheers - know that this is a plain fact, not a self-degregating statment. The facts are clear:
- My car is a mess - again - in record time
- Dishes sit in the sink
- Piles of laundry seem to pop up around my house: needing to be washed, needing to be hung, needing to be folded, begging to be put in drawers (um..yeah - right)
- My exercise cd sits, figurative eyebrows raised, where I laid it...5 days ago - or something
- My husband says things like, "I feel like I haven't seen you in a week"
- My fridge is pretty bare
- My kids, *sigh*, I miss them and they are right here
- My google reader mocks me as I hope you haven't felt neglected too
Even my body is crashing, a not-so-slow deescallation of all the muscles that cranked themselves tighter and tighter all week long. It's acually painful. I didn't expect that.
See, this tightrope I walked for the last week, trying not to mis-step or the food might not all be there or the port-a-potty was missing, or would the generator power the mic without over powering it...has affected every part of my life. And, of course it would.
But the part I really didn't expect was the 'after'. I couldn't sleep last night. Well, I crashed...then at 1am awoke out of a sound sleep and couldn't go back. The thoughts of who I forgot to thank and recognize, the 'what we will do differently next year's, and the haunting image of a woman I never saw but was told - arrived late and left early - did we upset her more than comfort?
Be assured there will be more posts about the highlights of our day. Pictures and videos will come, when I get them. It was a very affirming and successful day and I do feel that the all-encompassion life-debris was all worth it. I just need to acknowledge it. And, so there is a chance I might be able to get some sleep tonight...
Thank you to ALL the volunteers that gave their time and energy, manning tables, babysitting the kids tent, blowing up balloons, taking picutres, capturing video, and breaking down.
Thank you to my amazing, astoundingly gorgeous husband and his 'always there' loyal cousin who single (or double) handedly erected and broke down five tents, six tables, built a performance platform, set up and manned the sound system, and said all those cute, but totally over my head things over the walkie talkies. This event would not have happened without you.
Thank you to every single brave person who came, cried, smiled, laughed, hugged, and shared their story. Your children are well loved and well remembered.
Thank you the beautiful gang of children we had, who even in the midst of tears frolliced in the green grass amidst a sea of yellow dandelions. You were such a welcome sight. We live for you.
And, Thank you to all our angel babies for filling us - eventually - with equal measures of longing and inspiration. Because of your short lives we change the world.
*Phew* - That feels better. Time to do laundry, and dishes, and play with my kids, and kiss my husband, and go food shopping and...