Welcome Mothers, Fathers, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends and anyone else who needs an ear...Please come with an open heart.

This is a place for anyone who has felt the loss of a child. Treat this as a communication haven regardless of how or when you felt your loss. My definition of loss: miscarriage at any stage, still birth regardless of week gestation, infant death at any month, and loss of a child even if your child was all grown up. For me they all hold the same root of devestation. None are more profound or more "easily" dealt with than another.

Please cry if you need to.
Please connect with others who are in your same space.
Please email me if you feel led to
Please comment so we know what you need
Please tell your story

Monday, May 18, 2009

Perfect Moment Monday - Of The Greek Tragedy Variety (UPDATED SO LAST IMAGE WORKS!)


Yesterday, at 1:30 pm, heads were a rolling...literally.

The Prequil - New Years Eve, 2008

For a month, he added water, turned them daily, made sure the heat was just right. Tonight, he awoke every two hours to the sound of yet another breaking shell. Ten new lives entered this world...

Who were they? Rooster or Hen? How long could they survive their fate? Questions only answered by time.

Five months later...
The Tragedy - May 17th, 2009

The familiar blue truck pulled in. Grampa hopped out muttering words we knew were coming, but were still unready to hear. "Guess we better take care of them roosters." It wasn't a question.

The odds, it seemed, were against them from the start, for of the ten hatched eggs, seven - yes SEVEN, grew into large, feathered, LOUD roosters who seemed not to understand that crowing was typically reserved for when the sun acually appears on the horizon. Seven roosters and three hens *sigh* we know what that meant.

"I really only need one rooster" Jer said, "It's eggs we want."

"Yup" I responded, "I get that but I don't want to be here for it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to hear it?"

Best laid plans and all...for that Grandpa covered the ground from truck to ax to chicken coop in about 10 seconds flat. (note: even with supermommy skills I couldn't get the girls in the car that fast)

And worse: their small-person curiosity had been peaked! And then - it was over. And, even though I didn't look I found myself deeply cringing at my children's reactions. It was like watching a movie through the window...

We left - then came back 2 1/2 hours later.

The Comedy - Same day...just later

Bear's In-The-Moment Reaction: A stoic face clearly processing what she had just seen. Silence. More processing. A bit of face contortion as they did what chickens do after they lose their heads. More silence. More processing. A quiet ride in the car to the school play we planned to be at while the drama ensued!

Bear's Delayed Reaction: "Mom, is that what we would do if some cut our heads off?" Definately not. Not funny in the ha-ha sense, but certainly not what I expected her first question to be!

The Comedian's In-The-Moment Reaction: Drawing in one deep excited breath, totally enamoured with the whole process, then yelling out in only the way she can..."HEY! Them can fly without them heads!!!!!" And without missing a beat she fell in step beside her beloved Grandpa, cocking her own head to ask, "You gonna do another one?"

The Comedian's Delayed Reaction: Do you even have to ask? Re-telling the story over and over and over and over with additional details each time as I just nod and sport a slight smile.

The Pre-Prequil

When I was fourteen years old I went over to Jer's house for the first time. I was there as a friend of his brothers, but my reason for being there made no difference as I was invited a 'wrapping day'.

Believe you me, when the men-folk said "see you in a bit" and descended into the depths of a basement I had never seen I was more than a bit puzzled. But, being the dutiful little guest I was, readily ripped paper for who-knew-what...

Us ladies, you see - were upstairs preparing to wrap the hams and steaks that would soon ascend from said basement looking (I was very relieved to see) much like they do in the grocery store.

Even still - for a country girl raised by previously raised city folk, it was an eye opener. Let this little tangent serve only to say that when the beautiful day came that I fell for Jer, I knew what I was getting into.

That said, "I am a farmer's wife" did not translate, for me anyway, into "I will participate in all of the farmer's duties."

Just saying.

The Comedy - Part Duex

But even I, the mentally on-the-fence about all things slaughtered, wife of a generational farmer, could not stop laughing at 6pm yesterday.

"What would you like to watch a little bit of before bed tonight?" I asked my elder.

"We started a movie this morning when you were at church. Let's finish that" she replied.

I pushed the play button on the dvd player, assuming it would remember where it stopped before - and saw this...

Ironic beyond measure. Planned? I doubt it. Appropriate in some warped way? I thought so, or at least, my funny bone did.


Anonymous said...

Cara, thanks for the Monday-morning-laugh...I was on the verge of it anyway, and then I saw "them can fly without them heads" and I cannot stop laughing. I too am a city girl, and I had country relatives. When I was little, my grandparents lived near a chicken processing plant, and every once in while, a beheaded chicken would escape. I will NEVER forget the first time I saw a chicken with no head running/flying down the sidewalk. I don't remember what I said, but I can imagine.

Thanks again for the laughs.

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...

Grandpa Joe owned a chicken farm, it's always fascinating to little ones to see chickens run around w/o their heads.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

I can't see the very last image, but this tale is a terrific one!

Unless you're a rooster.

Kristin said...

Bwahahahaha...Chicken Run after that day...what a funny twist. Great story my friend.

Michelle said...

Thank you I needed that. LOL

Lost Found Connections Abound! It Works - So Let's Use It!

Submit My News Click here to submit my news to the LFCA



Time Is Both My Best Ally and My Worst Enemy: My Meltdown 8 Years Later